Oh, no. It’s Valentine’s Day.  We here at Abnormal Use abhor this day.  As lawyers, we have few, if any, emotions.  As bloggers, we have few, if any, social skills. That humanity deficit makes Valentine’s Day – a fabricated holiday built upon the expression of nascent emotions – very difficult for us. So, in an effort to cope, we’ll do what we do best: talk about comic books.

Above, you’ll find the cover of Young Romance: The New 52 Valentine’s Day Special #1, published by DC Comics not so long ago in 2012.  Ah, The New 52.  If you’ve not been following trends in comic books in recent years, let us update you: The New 52 was an attempt by DC Comics in 2011 to completely revamp their comic book universe.  The longtime publishing company canceled and rebooted nearly every title.  In September of 2011, the company debuted 52 new series, many featuring familiar characters (like Superman and Batman), others not so much.  It was an effort to start their comic book universe anew, allowing new readers to join the narratives as they began, rather than in media res.  (After all, it’s easier to feel current on the story when one starts at issue #1, as opposed to issue #612.).

Reaction to The New 52 idea has been mixed at best.

But that’s not stopping us from hijacking their Valentine’s Day issue for our nefarious purposes.  Apparently, in this very issue, Wonder Woman confers with Eros about her crush on Superman.  Best part: “Also Inside – Super Valentine’s Day Cards!”

Click here and here to see our past Valentine’s Day posts.

Above, you’ll find the cover to the trade paperback The Trial of Yellowjacket, a storyline in featured The Avengers comic series in the early 1980’s published by Marvel Comics. Here’s hwo Comicvine describes the narrative: “The end of an era! They say pride comes before the fall, and this tumultuous tome is proof of that! When longstanding and founding Avenger Hank Pym – in his guise as Yellowjacket – demonstrates reckless behavior in battle, his fellow members schedule a formal court-martial hearing to determine the fate of their emotionally conflicted comrade. Will Yellowjacket triumph over his inner demons – or crumble under the pressure of being an Avenger?” But can the Avengers court martial one of their members? Are they members of the military? Aren’t they private citizens with superhuman talents and powers who have simply banded together to fight the bad guys? Where does a court martial come in? Why wouldn’t Yellowjacket be tried in the traditional civil – or criminal – courts for any reckless behavior in battle?

Well, Yellowjacket, whose real name was Hank Pym, is not the nicest guy.  Here’s how his Wikipedia describes these incidents:

. . . Pym participates in several missions until, after demonstrating hostile behavior towards Janet, he attacks a foe from behind once the opponent had ceased fighting. Captain America suspends Yellowjacket from Avengers duty pending the verdict of a court-martial. Pym suffers a complete mental breakdown and concocts a plan to salvage his credibility by building a robot (named Salvation-1) and programming it to launch an attack on the Avengers at his court-martial. Planning to exploit the robot’s weakness at the critical moment, Pym hopes to regain his good standing with the Avengers. The Wasp discovers the plan and begs Pym to stop, at which point he strikes her. Although the robot does attack the Avengers as planned, Pym is unable to stop it and the Wasp uses the design flaw to defeat it. Pym is subsequently expelled from the Avengers, and Janet divorces him.

Uh, that’s not good.

By the way, last week, in our weekly installment of Friday Links, we apparently misidentified a Marvel Comics alien symbiote.  We thought the symbiote Carnage was, in fact, Venom.  They are both foes of Spider-Man, and they are both really, really bad dudes. Shame on us. (Thanks to eagle-eyed commenter MattS for pointing out the error in our comments).

In a postscript to his recent blog entry “Donald Trump v. Bill Maher,” Walter Olson of Overlawyered includes a link to our McDonald’s hot coffee case coverage.  We’d love to see the depositions in that case, if it ever gets off the ground.

This can’t be good.

Gallivan, White & Boyd, P.A. is saddened to announce that longtime shareholder and friend Arthur L. Howson, Jr. passed away on Sunday, January 27, 2013.  Art practiced law for 36 years while spending 31 of those years with GWB.  Art focused his practice on corporate and business, commercial real estate, and banking and financial transactions.  He was listed as one of the Best Lawyers in America for Real Estate law and ranked in Chambers USA Leading Lawyers for Business.  Art was recently the recipient of the Greenville County Bar’s prestigious Tommy Thomason Award.  Art was also dedicated to his family, friends, and the community. He served on the boards of Greenville Chorale and Greenville Friends of the Zoo as well as president of the board of directors for Senior Action and Bank Greenville.

This broker rebate New York very eloquently states how all of us at GWB feel, “Art, I will miss your smile and good nature. So many times I sought your counsel and you never failed to share with me what you thought was fair and what was best for our law firm. We will miss that wisdom. Well done, good and faithful servant.”  Please keep Art’s wife Anne, their children, and their family in your thoughts and prayers.

“May God rest his soul and bless his family with a peace that brings them an understanding of His love for Art and them.” – Mills Gallivan

Behold, the cover of The Amazing Spider-Man #403, published not so long ago in the summer of 1995.  However, as you may know, the 1990’s was not the best time for comics, as the odd nature of the cover art suggests.  Here’s our question:  If it is the trial of Peter Parker that is depicted, why is the defendant clad in his Spider-Man costume? Why would the court system – even the faux court apparently convened by the super villains shown on the cover – permit him to remain hidden beneath his mask? And by the way, why isn’t Venom being more understanding?  Wasn’t he on trial recently himself? What gives?

This tweet might contain the best advice a criminal defendant ever receives.  (Hat Tip:  Kevin Underhill at Lowering The Bar).

We’ve written about driverless cars more than a few times.  Quite frankly, we’re kind of obsessed with the topic. So, check out this recent article in Slate, entitled “Even If Driverless Cars Are Banned In America, They’ll Be Allowed Somewhere.”

How long has it been since you’ve read the official Abnormal Use mission statement, published way, way back on January 4, 2010? Well, that’s too long!

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We’re a bit perplexed by the cover of Venom: On Trial #3, published not so long ago in the halcyon days of 1997. First, there are the bizarre depictions of Spider-Man and Daredevil, both of whom are looking on awkwardly at the execution of Venom, whose trial apparently resulted in a conviction and a death sentence. But here’s the question: Why was Venom on trial in the American courts? Venom, as we all know, is an extraterrestrial life form! Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about him: “the creature is a Symbiote, a sentient alien, with a gooey, almost liquid-like form that requires a host, usually human, to bond with for its survival, as with real world symbiotes, and to whom it endows enhanced powers.” So why is he being tried in our criminal justice system?

Jay Hornack of Pittsburgh a/k/a The Panic Street Lawyer describes a recent trip to Philadelphia, where he toured the new “American Spirits: The Rise and Fall of Prohibition” exhibit at the National Constitution Center. (Jay was also able to see Morrissey in concert this past week, although that’s another story.).

Friend of the blog James Daily – of the famed and fabled Law and the Multiverse blog – has a guest post over at Wired magazine.  In it, he offers – in great detail – an analysis of the contract Bilbo Baggins – the title character in The Hobbit – enters into with a dwarf adventure party.

Once again, The Black Keys, the fine musical group, are in litigation.

We here at Abnormal Use and Gallivan, White, & Boyd, P.A. celebrate the legacy and leadership of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. In honor of today being Marin Luther King, Jr. Day, we direct you to to the text of his Letter From Birmingham Jail, written on April 16, 1963, nearly fifty years ago. Today, our offices are closed in observance of the holiday.

Today, of course, is also the day in which President Obama will deliver his second inaugural address, having been officially sworn in yesterday.

(By the way, the comic book cover depicted above is that of American Heroes #1, published back in 1992 by the now defunct Personality Comics publishing company).

Okay, it’s come to this. We are now featuring not our first – but our second – cover of Simpsons Comics here at Abnormal Use.  So, depicted above is Simpsons Comics #107, published not so long ago in 2005. It prominently features Homer Simpsons, not as himself, but as Lady Justice. Yikes.  (Note this is quite a different take on Lady Justice than Marvel used in a recent Daredevil series.). Comicvine summarizes the plot of this issue as follows: “Homer wins Gil’s law license in a bar bet, and soon becomes Springfield’s newest and hottest lawyer, winning cases with showstopping pyrotechnics. But when Bart is accused of setting Springfield Elementary on fire, Homer’s career may crash and burn.” You know, we might have to check that one out.

Behold: the origin of the phrase “caught red handed.”

You know, of course, that we here at Abnormal Use are huge nerds.  But did you know that, 30 years ago, this was our favorite arcade game?

If did not see this sad, sad cartoon strip from The Oatmeal last week, maybe you should investigate.  It is a tear jerker. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. We have no liability if you get all misty eyed.

Here is a Torts Exam question from Sasha Volokh. Try it, if you will.  (Hat tip: Overlawyered).

And finally: Yikes!

Now, we’ve mentioned comic book legal titan Tiger Lawyer before. The series was created and written by Ryan Ferrier, and we’ve mentioned it previously here, here, and here.  We’re really thinking about getting a print of this neat poster, depicted above. Do you think it would fit well in our office next to our diplomas?

Oh, no.  “ABC Considering 50 Scripts for Live-Action ‘Star Wars’ TV Series.” You know how we feel about that.

The Strange Brewing Company of Denver, Colorado is in a trademark dispute with a Massachusetts home brew shoppe called Strange Brew.  Oh, to be able to serve requests for production in that case! For more, see here. (Hat tip: Beer Pulse).

One again, @TweetsOfOld showcases the curious laws of yesteryear, this time the phone etiquette statute in Nebraska in 1910.

Don’t forget! You can follow Abnormal Use on Twitter here and on Facebook here! Drop us a line!

As we noted yesterday, today is our third birthday. Depicted above is Steppenwolf’s At Your Birthday Party LP,  released way, way back in 1969.  (Hey, we can’t do a comic book cover every week!) Anyway, this record featured a number of great Steppenwolf tunes, including “Rock Me,” “Jupiter’s Child, and of course, “It’s Never Too Late,” our personal favorite. Indeed!

Best. Warning. Label Ever. (Thanks to Walter Olson of Overlawyered for pointing this one out.).

Friend of the blog Jonathan Sink has published his very first post over at the North Carolina Law Blog.  The title: “Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Waving Goodbye to Student Discipline in America’s Public Schools.”  That sounds heavy duty.

Our pal Jay Hornack a/k/a The Panic Street Lawyer, writing in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, shares his 10 favorite live concerts of 2012.

Here’s a good one for the new year: “11 Signs, Announcements, and Disclaimers That Are No Longer Necessary.”

We  hope you made it through the first week of 2013. We admit that it took some effort to get back into the swing of things. But here we are, back in blogging action, ready to bring you new content for the new year. Watch out!

Today is not actually our blog’s third birthday: it’s tomorrow. But as you know, every Friday for the last three years, we’ve offered your our sardonic and fun Friday Links. So, today (and really, only because it’s the first week of the new year and we aren’t yet into the swing of things), we indulge ourselves in a bit more nonsense with this fully separate (and early) post.

What to say on our third birthday? Well, we made it past the terrible twos.  That’s a good thing, right?

This year, we would like to try to take things to the next level here at Abnormal Use. Last year, we turned a few pop culture fixations of ours into week long commemorations of film anniversaries.  (Those, of course, were the 20th anniversaries of both A Few Good Men and My Cousin Vinny.).  We also offered you a week’s worth of posts on practical legal education and the benefits thereof. We continued to bring commentary on the latest cases and developments in products litigation.  This year, we would like continue that trend and offer some intriguing reading material for you.

We’ve just got to figure out what that will be.  Don’t worry; we’re working on it.

By the way, depicted above is the cover of Mickey Mouse Birthday Party #1, published way, way back in 1953.  Look at it closely. It may be the creepiest thing we’ve ever seen.

To see our first and second birthday posts, click here and here.