Sasquatch And Lizard Man Home In The Carolinas

A couple years ago, we here at Abnormal Use reported upon a Bigfoot sighting right here in our Western Carolina backyard. Well, guess what? Sasquatch is back! And, this time, he has been caught on video! According to a report from USA Today, a man vacationing in Henderson County, North Carolina spotted the creature while walking his dog. Thankfully, he had foresight and wherewithal to utilize his cell phone camera. This video serves as the first empirical evidence that the real life Sasquatch looks like the doppelganger of a blurry man in a gorilla suit.


One would think that the Sasquatch discovery is the greatest discovery in the Carolinas since sweet tea. The truth is that the Sasquatch video footage is not even the top achievement of late. Earlier this month, “Lizard Man” was photographed in Bishopville, South Carolina. The seven-foot tall Lizard Man had been in hiding since he infamously took a bite out of a man’s car parked near the Scape Ore Swamp way, way back in 1988. By the looks of the photograph, Lizard Man has found plenty of other sources of food over the last 27 years.


So what does this breaking news have to do with the law?  Back in 2013, we raised these questions in regards to Sasquatch:

Indeed, we are concerned about the ramifications that a population of sasquatch creatures may have on the legal system of the Carolinas.

Many bigfoot encounters take place when the creature is caught stealing chickens from a chicken coop or messing with other small animals. Had this conduct been that of a coyote or other wild animal, the property owner may have no legal recourse. But, what if the tortfeasor is a large, hairy, bipedal humanoid? The creature may be too human-like to be considered an animal, but is it also too non-human to be subject to suit in a Carolina court? Questions like these must quickly be addressed by the North Carolina legislature.

Even if Sasquatch could be sued, he is likely uninsured and judgment proof. Nonetheless, assuming suit is inevitable, he will need legal counsel. We will look forward to that opportunity. After all, Sasquatch has to make for a great witness with that beautiful hair and all.

Now, that the Lizard Man has reared his head in these parts, our legal system may just explode.

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