Steak Dinner In Florida Turns Into Acid Trip

When you buy steaks at Wal-Mart, you expect Grade A quality beef.  A Florida family, however, claims the steaks they purchased weren’t exactly worthy of Gordon Ramsey’s kitchen.  According to a report from The Smoking Gun, Ronnie Morales and Jessica Rosado, Morales’ 9-month pregnant girlfriend, along with Rosado’s two children, were hospitalized after allegedly consuming LSD-laced bottom round steak purchased from a Florida Wal-Mart.  After eating dinner, Morales allegedly became violently ill.  Rosado drove him to the hospital where she, too, became ill, forcing her to be admitted to the Women’s Hospital, where physicians induced labor.  Shortly thereafter, Rosado’s children allegedly began hallucinating and fell ill.  All have now been released from the hospital.  The report is silent as to whether the family will demand a steak dinner anytime soon.

An incident of this type is obviously traumatic, especially when a pregnant woman is involved.   At this point, it is too early to tell who is to blame.  Tampa Police Chief Jane Castor has said that there was “no indication” of any involvement by Morales or Rosado.  So, if not them, then who?  A neighbor?  A friend?  Wal-Mart?  The packing house?  Could it just have been an LSD-addicted cow?  These questions are yet to be determined.

Certainly, this Florida Wal-Mart will be forced to attempt to clear its name.  Despite the police’s assertion the there was “no indication” that the victims were involved, Wal-Mart would be wise to do more investigation.  We are by no means experts in LSD, but we do find it suspicious that the effects of LSD can be so severe after the drug has been exposed to heat.  Moreover, we also find it interesting that those effects were violent illness for the adults rather than hallucinations.  Something sounds suspicious. There are obviously more questions than answers at this stage.  We don’t know who, what, where, when, or how this family ingested LSD.  But, certainly it couldn’t have been from a high quality Wal-Mart steak.

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