The dark side of the Force did not die along with Darth Vader at the hands of Emperor Palpatine in Return of the Jedi. Before you start accusing us of giving away The Force Awakens spoilers (as if there is anyone who hasn’t already seen the film), hear us out. We here at Abnormal Use have substantial proof that the dark side is alive and well and not tucked away in a galaxy far, far away. Last week, the Consumer Product Safety Commission (“CPSC”) announced that Walt Disney Parks and Resorts has recalled Darth Vader infant bodysuits because they are harmful to innocent children in the most predictable, dark side fashion. The bodysuits, which contain the slogan, “If you only knew the power of THE DARK SIDE” pose a choking hazard to children. And, the Force choke lives on.
In an attempt to hide the presence of the dark side, the CPSC claims that the hazard posed by the Vader bodysuit is not the Force choke but detaching snaps which somehow find their way into infants’ mouths. But who does the CPSC and Walt Disney Parks think they are fooling? We recognize the power of a Sith Lord when we see it.
The recall apparently also includes Disneyland 60th Anniversary infant bodysuits but clearly those suits were also touched by Vader’s power in the factory. For those that actually believe it is possible to rid the world of the dark side, the bodysuits can be returned for a full refund. Nonetheless, the CPSC will continue to monitor any disturbances in the Force.