Every so often, the blog gods shine down upon their minions and grant them a post that, almost literally, writes itself. This is one of those posts. While perusing Yahoo! News the other day, I ran across this story. Go ahead. Click on the link. You’ll be glad you did.
Was I right? A copy of the full opinion can be found here [PDF]. It’s well worth a full reading.
I’ve often thought that being a judge might sometimes get a little dry, and that writing legal opinions (or, rather, reviewing the opinions that my clerk wrote) might become mundane. But every once in a while, a case lends itself to a bit of creative writing.
This ruling is simply hilarious.
I was also a bit curious about its author, U.S. District Judge Fred Biery, so I looked him up. According to his official bio on the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Texas website, Judge Biery was appointed by President Clinton [withhold additional commentary here] and he enjoys basketball and gardening. His Wikipedia page already has a citation to this fun ruling.
Law is serious business. No one denies that. Further, it is possible that the town of San Antonio and the strip club at issue do not find the judge’s lighthearted opinion at all amusing. Perhaps they feel that their litigation is not being taken as seriously as they believe it should. But for the rest of us, this opinion proves that lawyers–and judges–are not sticks-in-the-mud all the time. And that’s a good thing!