On Burger King’s New Mac N’ Cheetos

Any regular follower knows that we here at Abnormal Use love an entertaining headline about the trials and tribulations of the food service industry. From hot coffee burns to heart attacks involving “triple bypass” burgers, the world of food and drink has given us much to write about over the years. Why are these stories so engaging? Maybe it is because we can all relate to the everyday people involved. We have each spent our fair share of time eating at a franchised chain restaurant or sitting in a drive-thru line. Or perhaps it’s because our articles are drafted during a lunch break, subconsciously leading our trusty writers to focus on topics that give them an appetite. But we are entering dark times in the food service industry.  After opening our Internet browser this morning and reading today’s headlines, we fear the end is near. They have simply gone too far. I cannot – and will not – get on board with this. Behold, faithful readers, Burger King’s new Mac N’ Cheetos:

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That’s right, folks. Soak it up in all its greasy, cheesy, consumeristic glory. Deep-fried sticks of macaroni and cheese encrusted with Cheetos-flavored breading. This writer is a big supporter of restaurant chains and snacking brands partnering together to promote their products under the right circumstances. Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Taco? Amazing (especially in Cool Ranch flavor). By the way, does anyone really know what those blue flakes on the Cool Ranch Doritos are made of? They need to start selling those bad-boys by the jar in the grocery store. I’d sprinkle them on every dish in place of salt and pepper. But I digress. Back to the offensive issue at hand. Burger King seems to be trying to run with the success and overall deliciousness of Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Taco by rolling out this sad excuse of a snack. Cheetos are incredible. Mac and cheese is a classic American dish. However, there is no circumstance under which they should be served as one item. Hey, I’m just one guy. And I am certainly no foodie. But if you ask me, this is troubling.

Another Day In The Life Of A Lawyer: The Highs And Lows Of Travelling

As lawyers, our work often necessitates a good bit of travel. Whether by car to attend a deposition across the state or plane to attend a conference on the opposite coast, traveling affords us the opportunity to see parts of this great country. Most often, travel is an aspect of our profession we enjoy. It certainly ranks well above conducting late-night legal research in one’s office. Other times, traveling for work purposes can turn into an utter nightmare (as can traveling for any purpose).

Recently, I took a deposition in a small town in Mississippi situated a few hours from the nearest airport. While it may not sound enjoyable, I looked forward to it, as I had never spent any time in the state apart from driving across Interstate 20.  he trip started off well enough. I caught a flight to Jackson, rented a car, and traversed through acre upon acre of farm land before reaching my destination. After checking into my hotel, I headed to Doe’s Eat Place, a James Beard Award-winning restaurant housed in a former turn-of-the-century grocery store listed in the National Register of Historic Places. You won’t find a menu at Doe’s, but the waitress informed me that they served steak, tamales, and spaghetti. I chose the steak, and I discovered the best 10 ounces of filet mignon. Sampling local fare is a travel perk, and Doe’s set my trip off in the right direction.

The good vibes from Doe’s, however, were ephemeral. The following day, I took the deposition without a hitch and returned to Jackson to catch my return flight home. Unfortunately, there were no direct flights from Jackson to Greenville, South Carolina, so I made a pit stop in Atlanta, the city where this story begins to sour.

My flight from Atlanta was scheduled to depart at 8:59 p.m. and arrive in Greenville at approximately 10:11 p.m. (In case you are wondering, it is a 29-minute flight, but in typical airline fashion, they built in a cushion in case, well, you know). I boarded the plane around 8:30 and gladly traded my coveted aisle seat to another passenger in exchange for a middle seat. It is only a 29-minute flight, after all, and worth the personal sacrifice to please another. After assuming my temporarily uncomfortable position and listening to the flight attendants deliver the standard, monotonous safety instructions, the pilot made his own announcement over the radio:

Ummmm [never a good thing to hear from the pilot] … We have discovered that the plane’s braking mechanism is leaking some hydraulic fluid. The good news is that we have the replacement part at the airport. The bad news is that it is on the other side. Maintenance is telling me it will be another hour before we get up and running. Worst case.

I understand the need for safety, especially when we are about to undertake a short, yet epic battle with gravity. Brakes come in handy at the end of such a journey. So, I chalk it up as a minor inconvenience and figure I will be home slightly later than my scheduled arrival (given the pre-planned buffer). If only the estimated “worse case” was so. At approximately 9:45, the pilot announced that maintenance faced some difficulty with the installation process and estimated it would be another 45 minutes until departure. Not wanting to keep us hostage, the pilot stated that we are free to leave the place so long as we stay near. Remembering the bar immediately outside the gate, I deplaned and sought a beer.  Only after leaving the plane did I discover that the bar closed at 10. Still in good spirits, I found a nearby Chick-fil-A and grabbed a sandwich (I actually ordered nuggets by the way, but I am not complaining about the mishap).

When I returned from Chick-fil-a, I was greeted by the unwelcome sight of everyone exiting the plane. Apparently, the whole “another 45 minutes” thing was a gross understatement. To the airline’s credit, its representatives tried to lighten the mood by providing snacks and non-alcoholic beverages. They also gave me a free drink coupon good for one beer or cocktail. The rub, however, was that it could only be used on the plane.  he plane that we had just been kicked off of and wanted desperately to board once again. The bitter irony.

Several minutes before midnight, the pilot came out and announced that the plane had been fixed and we were ready to re-board. Unfortunately, the gate attendant had gone AWOL. After a 15 minute search, she was located and we proceeded with boarding the plane. Again. Took the middle seat. Again. Listened to the standard, monotonous safety instructions. Again. At least this time, however, on a plane with a braking mechanism smack full of hydraulic fluid. We eventually pulled away from the gate, rose into the air, and landed around 1:15 a.m. A mere 3 hours after my scheduled arrival. After retrieving my car from the garage and driving home, I strolled wearily into my house, reached into my pocket, and felt something unfamiliar: the free drink coupon, apparently forgotten amidst the frustration of a lawyer’s plight to get home.

After writing these thoughts and sharing this story, I can’t help but be reminded how travel is one of the many things I love about the practice of law. Despite the late-night, mid-week nightmare trying the get home, I am thankful for the experience. At the end of the day, I got to take a deposition, eat a steak at Doe’s, and experience a state to which I had never traveled. Certainly, it would have been better with an aisle seat, a beer, and a plane with functioning brakes, but we can’t expect everything to be perfect, can we?

Happy Fourth of July!

Happy Fourth of July from we here at the Abnormal Use law blog and Gallivan, White, & Boyd, P.A.! We wish you a safe and festive holiday, and we trust that you will enjoy the day and decline to spend it in the office (if at all possible). We’ll be back tomorrow with regular posts as per usual!

Friday Links

What did everyone think of that “Game of Thrones” finale last weekend?

So, according to The Onion AV Club, Apple “obtained a patent on technology that will disable your phone’s camera when it detects a specific infrared signal,” suggesting that those using their iPhone at a concert might be thwarted. Believe it or not, we addressed this very topic in a 2011 post entitled “On iPhones, Surreptitious Concert Taping, and The Future.” Are we prescient?

Although we love craft brewers, we are not ready for cookie dough beer.

We here at Abnormal Use and Gallivan, White, & Boyd, P.A. hope that you have a safe and festive Fourth of July holiday weekend. Try not to do too much billable work over the long weekend. In fact, try to enjoy the world a bit without worrying about work for a few hours.

We’re a bit puzzled by our favorite legal tweet of late, but we still keep trying to imagine the scene depicted therein.

Reptile Update Summer 2016

It has been approximately six months since our last Reptile case law update. We have been unable to find any Reptile-related case law or trial court order handed down since our last update, but we have located several recent jury verdicts and settlements referencing the Reptile, as well as some secondary sources on the subject:

The following is an excerpt from the recap of a jury verdict for the defense in a Kentucky medical malpractice case:

He referenced that some other lawyers (ones from Georgia) created a Reptilian guide to trying cases and that it is used by plaintiffs as a Bible of sorts. Moving from reptiles Nicholls finished that Chalhoub was a good doctor who cared about his patients and the community — he asked the jury to return a verdict telling Chalhoub he had done nothing wrong especially as the plaintiff had painted him as a liar.

From a recent article:

I have a slightly different, but not inconsistent, theory: fear sells. Readers are attuned to negative information for the same reason that the negativity bias is evolutionarily adaptive: you need to know about the bad stuff that might cause you harm. We cannot escape the reptile buried deep within our psyches.
SYMPOSIUM: Of Reptiles and Velcro: The Brain’s Negativity Bias and Persuasion, 15 Nev. L.J. 605.
And for another interesting analysis of the Reptile tactic, consider the following law review article for which we provide the following excerpt:
Let us begin with identifying some of the problems with finding the right place to start. For a factual narrative, the natural choice-the earliest event-is not obvious. What is the earliest event? In a personal injury case, is it the injury or the events leading up to the injury? Current books on the plaintiff’s side – Rules of the Road and Reptile – put the emphasis on the defendant and what the defendant has done before introducing the plaintiff. Even the natural “tell the story from the beginning” has many notable exceptions. We are well aware, especially with movies, of the technique where the story is not strictly chronological, but the narrative is shaped by flashbacks, which sharpen the understanding of the events as the chronology is resumed.
ARTICLE: ON EDITING, 60 S.D. L. REV. 1
We will do our best to continue keep you posted on Reptilian developments. In the meantime, please feel free to share any information or materials that you run across.

How I Became A Lawyer

I recently wrote on Abnormal Use about the importance of storytelling for lawyers when marketing themselves and their law practices. As I said then, I was inspired to work on some of my own stories. This is the result of that initial effort.

When I first went to Furman University as a student in the Fall of 1980, I wanted to be a doctor. My Dad was a dentist, and I knew that was not for me. But I did like the life sciences, including biology and anatomy. So, I filled my first year with Botany, Zoology, and Calculus, laying the groundwork for my pre-med curriculum. The next fall, when it was time to register for classes, I found myself in line to register for Organic Chemistry, the course that separates the wheat from the chaff. I hesitated. I began questioning why I wanted to be a doctor and whether I had truly considered any other path. I walked away from that registration line that day and spent the next year wandering in the wilderness.

During that year, I spent time with the Furman chaplain, Dr. Jim Pitts, exploring whether I was being called into ministry as my vocation. I even spent a semester as a volunteer hospital chaplain at Easley Baptist Hospital. It readily became apparent that was not the path for me, but I did get the chance to preach on Youth Sunday at my home church of First Baptist in Forest City, North Carolina. My uncle, Dr. John Johns, then President of Furman, was in the congregation that day. A friend recently reminded me of my uncle’s comments after hearing my sermon: “You would make a fine lawyer,” apparently referring to my ability to communicate effectively. Not long after that, I made an appointment with him to discuss it further. He encouraged me to seriously consider the law as my chosen profession.

Later, I sat down with one of my Dad’s lawyer friends, Tolliver Davis, who was the U.S. Magistrate for the U.S. District Court for the Western District of North Carolina. He patiently answered my questions about the law. After this due diligence, I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. I was probably not sure why, or even what type of law in which I was interested. What I did know was that my Dad respected Tolliver Davis as a man of integrity. That was the beginning point, and how I became a lawyer.

I changed my major to Political Science; I graduated from Furman in 1984 and the University of South Carolina School of Law in 1987. I have been practicing with the law firm of Gallivan White, & Boyd, P.A. in Greenville, South Carolina ever since.

The practice of law has changed dramatically over the last 29 years. Law firm economics and the business of law have become increasingly difficult, more demanding. Yet, I have never regretted my decision to become a lawyer. I enjoy helping people and businesses with their problems, whatever they may be. Now that I think about it, not only do you know how I became a lawyer, you now know why as well.

Will The Internet Replace The Courthouse?

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The Internet has changed everything. More and more businesses are divesting themselves of brick and mortar storefronts. More companies are allowing employees to work from home remotely. The legal field has experienced huge changes as a result of the Internet, as well. Legal research has moved from books to the Internet. There are lawyers who specialize in data breach litigation, e-discovery, and various other Internet-related areas. But the question we ask is, could the Internet replace the courthouse?

There are certainly financial reasons to do so. A trial is expensive for everyone involved. Fact witnesses and expert witnesses incur travel expenses that must be reimbursed. Jurors must be selected and compensated. Bailiffs must keep watch over the security of the courthouse and the courtroom. Paper exhibits must be copied. The courthouse uses electricity for HVAC, lighting, and security equipment. Could many of these costs be eliminated by conducting the proceedings remotely?

The lawyers could argue and witnesses could testify remotely from their home or office via teleconferencing equipment, the judge could preside over the case by watching the arguments and testimony over a screen, and the jury could watch the proceedings on a computer monitor from the comfort of their home or from a remote facility. Any members of the public interested in watching the proceedings can stream the trial live. The jury then has the opportunity to deliberate with each other via a secure Skype-like program. This same technology could be used to streamline motion arguments and any other court proceeding. It seems like this would save litigants and taxpayers a lot of money. But would it be a good thing?

We would be hesitant to embrace such a drastic change in the court system. There is something about everyone being physically present in the same room that reminds everyone they are dealing with human beings and that the result of the trial impacts lives, businesses, et cetera. We fear that putting the Internet between all of the players involved with a trial could introduce an element of anonymity or dehumanization that would not serve the best interests of the people involved.

Success Is Found On The Far Side Of Failure

My wife recently sent me a video clip of author J.K. Rowling talking about the benefits of failure. Her marriage had failed, she was jobless and a single parent. Rowling said, “I was the biggest failure I knew.” But once she stripped away the nonessentials in her life and stopped pretending about who she was, she found the determination she needed. She was set free to do the one thing in her life she knew she was meant to do. Her greatest fear had been realized, yet she was still alive. By reaching rock bottom, she found the foundation upon which she rebuilt her life. Rowling said that failure is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something “unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not live at all, in which case you fail by default.” Rowling concluded by sharing the traits she learned about herself. She had a strong will, discipline and many faithful friends. And she was secure in her ability to survive.

Rowling’s words reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: “Success is found on the far side of failure.” Is that not what Rowling was trying to tell us? She found success after hitting rock bottom, learning some things about herself along the way. It was that strong will and determination that propelled her successful career. When have you failed as a lawyer and found success on the far side? I still vividly remember my first few jury trials as a young lawyer. One of our partners was always present to bail me out if needed, and more importantly, to assess my performance once the verdict was rendered. Whenever I am in court, whether arguing a motion or trying a case, I try to debrief afterward. What went well? What could I have done better? If the case is resolved short of trial, which is most often the case, did I move the case along appropriately? Did I get a good result for the client? If you are a young lawyer, insist that a more experienced lawyer go with you to your first hearing, your first deposition. Look for opportunities for other lawyers to help you learn from your mistakes. Don’t hide from them; dissect them openly. Take advantage of the feedback; learn from your failures.

Friday Links

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Above, you’ll find the cover of Independence Day #2, a comic book adaptation published way, way back in the halcyon days of 1996 (to coincide with the release of the film). Well, as you may know, the film’s sequels hits theaters this week, and although we’re a bit hesitant to endorse it, we’ll probably see it. After all, we remember standing in line in early July of 1996 to see the first one (which morally obligates us to see the sequel). That’s how at works, or so we’ve been told.

As we mentioned yesterday, we will be at the North Carolina Bar Association Annual Meeting this weekend in Charlotte. Say hi if you see us, and be sure to follow the hashtag #NCBAAM16 on Twitter if you’re interested in the event.

Did anyone go see The Cure in concert last night in Charlotte?

If the representations in our favorite legal tweet of the week are true, we need to see Finding Dory (as we adore jokes about warning labels). See below, and hap tip to Bob Dorigo Jones.

Abnormal Use at the NCBA Annual Meeting

As you may know, we here at Abnormal Use often travel to conventions and meetings far and wide. As fate would have it, though, the North Carolina Bar Association’s Annual Meeting takes place in Charlotte, North Carolina, where we have an office (and where our editor, Jim Dedman, is based). Accordingly, Jim will be at the NCBA Annual Meeting, and we suspect he’ll be tweeting from it using the Annual Meeting’s official hashtag, #NCBAAM16. In fact, as you’ll see below, he’s already at it.

If you also happen to find yourself at the meeting, be certain to say hello!