A Haiku on Mountain Dew

Wisconsin man sues
Mountain Dew. Claims his bottle
Contained a mouse. Eek!

Defendant moves for
Dismissal. The grounds? The claim
Is impossible.

Mountain Dew would have
Turned the whole mouse into a
“jelly-like substance.”

Wait, you’re kidding right?
This cure, worse than the disease!
Marketing? PR?

To do the Dew, or
To not do the Dew, Shakespeare,
That is the question.

Ronald Ball v. PepsiCo, 09-L-440 (Madison Co., Wisc. 2011)


  1. I find it interesting that nobody has pointed out that this man was using a method of blackmail popularized in the film “Strange Brew”.

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