Dear Abnormal Use:
I have been a faithful follower of your blog since its inception back in 2010. You bring unprecedented personality to the perilous world of legal blogging. The interwebs would be a sad place without your daily presence. Your work is greatly appreciated.
I am writing to you, however, not to sing your praises. Rather, I wanted to advise you of a horrible oversight made on your blog. In March, you compiled a list of the top songs about lawyers, judges, and attorneys. After recently re-reading that post, I noticed that you omitted the classic album of Bob Noone & The Well Hung Jury, “2nd Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer’s Soul.” I respect Abnormal Use tremendously and can only assume this omission was inadvertent. Mistakes happen. I understand. I am not trying to get a negligent associate fired. I only want to give you time to correct your mistake before the ABA Journal announces its top legal blogs of 2011.
It is almost laughable that a mistake of this magnitude could occur. “Chicken Suit” contains 14 Grammy-caliber tracks and not one was mentioned by your blog. How could you forget “Why Don’t We Get Drunk & Sue”? The song is the perfect blend of Jimmy Buffett and dramshop laws. How can you include Metallica’s “And Justice For All,” but omit “My Lawyer’s Back”? Someone is going to get in trouble for this.
Bob Noone is not just a singer – he’s an attorney-singer. He graduated from the West Virginia School of Law in 1983 and is currently Of-Counsel at the firm Bucci, Bailey, & Javins, LC in Charleston, West Virginia. He doesn’t just write great legal music. He lives its.
I must admit that as I write this letter, I find myself growing more agitated that your editor could allow this error to occur. You champion yourself as being a top-tier legal blog, yet you fail to acknowledge “Cover of the A.B.A.” The song has a distinct message – you can’t be famous until you find yourself on the cover of the ABA Journal. You of all people should know this. You were named one of the Top-100 blawgs by the publication last year and have requested that we nominate you yet again. How dare you bite the hand that feeds you.
Here’s your problem. You became too enamored with the so-called “music” of Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen. Last time I checked, Dylan and Springsteen never took the Bar Exam. Guess who did? Bob Noone. Noone knows the law. In order to write about the law, you have to experience the law. Listen to “Every Minute Must Get Billed,” and tell me it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye. For the record, Axl Rose knows as much about being a lawyer as Toby Keith knows about war.
Let’s put our differences aside. Your mistakes are easily corrected. If you can’t include “Chicken Suit” in its entirety, just give me one song. “Lawsuit Riot”? “My Will”? “Probation Polka”? The choice is yours. Ignoring this letter is the only way you can go wrong.
I like you. I really do. But for the love of all things sacred, give Bob Noone and the Well Hung Jury the respect they deserve.
A Concerned Reader