Another Plaintiffs’ Friendly Post?

To my dismay, I was recently described as having written a post from a “plaintiff’s perspective.” The comment shook me to the core, as I have been sleepless, listless, and suffering from a psychological malaise deeper than our national debt. I remember reciting proudly with my incoming class at new lawyer orientation, “The plaintiff’s case is never meritorious.” My entire existence has been devoted to ensuring that no stone goes unturned in the search for the truth, which inevitably leads to the defense verdict. To say I am deeply offended at any intimation that I lean to the other side is an understatement of seismic proportions. After all, what is the point of the billable hour, if not to justify my very existence.

See the indecency here, where Polson Enterprises, The Boating Information Company, complimented a previous post concerning a jury’s awarding $3.8 million to a teenager who was struck by a boat propeller when his friend backed over him in the water. I didn’t actually intend to suggest that boat propellers be redesigned to look something like an oscillating fan, which was essentially what Plaintiff’s counsel argued in that case, so perhaps I need to take a more definitive stand when I believe the Plaintiff’s argument is off base. And so while I pledge to do so in future posts, this is not one such topic. A plaintiff I actually could potentially support is one who takes on Miley Cyrus. Not so much because the tween “role model” allegedly gives lap dances in bars or always seems to be involved in some photo scandal, as those issues are outside the scope of this blog. This time, Miley is in the news for a recall of her jewelry line, which was sold exclusively at Wal-Mart stores, after test results showed the jewelry contained high levels of the toxic metal cadmium.

Although Wal-Mart initially continued to sell the jewelry, reportedly telling the Consumer Product Safety Commission that testing items already on store shelves would be too difficult, it eventually changed its approach, issuing a statement that it had pulled “the few products that did not” comply with its new testing regimen. Studies reportedly have shown that girls of the age of most Cyrus fans, ages 6 to 11, are at higher risk for absorbing more cadmium than other children or adults. In any event, the affected items have, at this point, been pulled from the shelves. Only time will tell if this causes future damage to the Miley Cyrus brand.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


* one = 1

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>